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Salvador the Unstoppable
Tuesday, April 8, 2014 * : No way, I can't believe it! * : Yeah, you're actually going to the dance? * : It wasn't my fault, She asked me out! * : Ah, using the capital S, eh? * : Well, that's the pronoun you use when talking to royals. * : Wait a second … you never even told us her name. * : Oh! Her name is Princess Grotatonia of Susannaville and she's visiting as an exchange student. I will be going on a date with her tomorrow night. * : Right, because the only person to ask you out doesn't even live in this country. [Everyone gasps.] * : Oh my G-d, I'm so sorry! This is what happens when I have a sister in high school. * : It's okay. That's just what I'll predict everyone's going to say to me when I walk to the seventh grade dance with … Grotilda. * : I think you mean Grotatonia. * : That's totally what I said. [a noise is heard] Well, I'd better go. Happy trails to your single selves! * : Oh, it's not a problem. Bye! * : Bye! [Shieldy hangs up.] * : It's totally a problem! Why does he get to have a date? * : With all due respects, he's technically [Pencil calls from the real life.] * : Oi, time to sleep, ye've got school tomorra! I've got to get Cil to read Korean by midnight. * : 구! * : Sorry, I'd better go. Bye! [Sio hangs up. Exit.] * : Thanks'ee very much … [she calls Match] Omg, Match, wot's the news? * : [from the phone] Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! * : Thet … thet's awesome! I'll calls'ee righ' back nex' mornin', 've got to get these kids to sleep. * : [from the phone] Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Wednesday, April 9, 2014 * : I wonder what they put in cereal these days that makes it taste so weird. * : Hey, I wonder that too! * : I mean, like, back in my day cereal had real nutrients and stuff. * : Yeah, back in 2002. * : What are you talking about? You lived through the 2000's, the decade of artificiality. * : At least I know what artificiality means! Avi, what does that mean? * : Artificiality, the * : Okay, we're done for. * : E'eryone, kids, 'o wants to know the great news I found out las' night? * : I want to know! * : Remember when yer Aun' Match kept sayin' thet she wanted ter open a restauran' acos she was tired o' bein' a subordinate? * : Is that when she came here and cried for three hours? * : Nope … it was four hours. * : I think what Mum is saying is that Aunt Match actually opened her restaurant. * : Aw, I was a-goin' to tell e'eryone the news! * | }}: What's the restaurant called? * : She calls'e Hissers, an' it's motto … wait fer'e … [almost starts laughing] "If there can be a Terwiter's fer men, why can' there be an 'Issers fer girls?" * : Let me guess … kids under 18 aren't allowed in? * : Thet's correct. An' thet applies to you too, Saye. * : Aw, seriously? * : Aw, seriously? Wait, that's David's line from BFDI! * : Don't forget our Aunt … Needy. [A hand comes down from the sky, but Salvador slaps it as a high five.] . is distributing class participation medals for a game that they played.}} * : And the award for Least Materialistic Student goes to … Yaretzi! Nzuri sana, na kuja juu juu! Because everyone in my class is a winner! * : Oh, thank you! [she goes up] But I don't deserve this. Therefore, I will personally divide this into twenty-nine pieces and give them all to you! [The class cheers.] * : Oh, Yaretzi, you are too nice of a person. Why, I've just started in realising this, but your sister and you are total opposites. * : That's just what mum always says! * : Why, it is almost as if by God Himself has devised your lives! [She goes back to her seat.] * : For our math survey, what's your favourite fruit? * : The orange. * : Thanks! How do you spell your name? Is it Y-A-R-E-Z-Z-E or is there an "I" somewhere? * : Hey, Yaretzi isn't my name! From now on, I shall be called Zorah and she shall be called me. I mean, Yaretzi. [Meanwhile, in Zorah's class across the hall.] * : What the hell? I'm getting this feeling that it's time for me to do a twin twitcheroo I mean, switcheroo!Okay, that was the worst plot exposition I've ever written. Please excuse that. * : [sigh] As shown through the surveillance camera, I just know that they are going to be here in five, four, three, two … [Enter Pen and Pencil, hastily.] * : Wot's goin' on? * : What is it I left work for? One of our children's been caught on fire? * : No, no, no. Absolutely not. * : Thank God, I'd'n' wan' to sue this school. Think about our popularity! * : Hold on, Bossy Bot tricked us? Should have known, she hates us! * : Yes, ever since Leadarse outsmarted me in the pop culture decathlon! * : Thet was eighteen years ago, let it go! * : And I still don't know what a mack daddy is. I am here for your son, and by your constant appearances, I am pretty sure you know which one about which I speak. [Pencil and Pen look at each other.] * | }}: Salvador. * : What did he do this time? * : Our most recent record says he beat up another student for … disproving him on a problem in arithmetics. * : Oh my gosh! * : Wot? I think I've seen worse of'e. * : That he is already carrying out these evil doings in the third grade is bad enough, do you know what may happen in future should he lay untreated? Suspensions, expulsions, appearances on object shows, juvenile delinquency … I will suggest to my secretary that he come here right now. [going on her walkie-talkie] Secretary, summon SS at once! * : On it! * : The SS? You're kidding me; why not simply call me ugly! * : An' I thought they disbanded years ago. * : No, through his frequent appearances we have initialled his name. * : Ah. An' may I assume this is from the condolences y'feels from wot 'appened to the millions o' people from the war? * : This is only because my grandfather fought in that war ... and lived. So no, sympathy . * : Er, do your students know you use that type of language around their parents? *'Voice': They do now! [Salvador suddenly appears from the headmistress's desk.] * : You called? * : What the?! * : Did you know that Golf Ball keeps a record of everyone in the school? I found out that this girl, Saima Piovahonnen, is so lazy in her English she deserves to go back to Finland. * : Oh, wait until you find your entry. * : Chavo, why did you get sent here? * : The stupid people told you, already. 'Cause I will … I did nothing! * : Salvador D'Israeli Schreiber, you are to end your antics right now, lest my prevention of further measures, and one and only option. * : I don't care! [He starts ripping up papers.] * : Wot'n'ale? * : He's usually got only half of this potential! * : Wot's yer other option … * : He either cease his doings, or he gets expelled and forcibly transferred into … military school. * | }}: ? * : But our son can't stop. * : Yeah, not only is it against status quo, but it's physically impossible for him. * : Pen's right, I'm not like those other robot kids. * : Y'know, those are your brothers and sisters you're talking about. * : Goodbye. You have been talking way too much. * : Oh, but can't we * : No. * : I would like to discuss this fur * : Bye. Arrivederci. Au revoir, or hopefully in your case, adieu. [They get pushed out by GB's leg.] * : Oi! * : See you at the school court, Friday, after school. [She then slams the door.] * : How about we go off-campus for lunch? * : Seriously? But it's, like, Wednesday! * : That doesn't mean we can't go. * : Yeah, we're in high school and have been for seven months! Now's our chance to become well-rounded individuals, so they say here. * : You mean eat until we get round as individuals. * : Ha! Good one, Saye! [Citlali appears out of a bush.] * : What the?! * : Holy ship! * : Why is she here? * : I know what this is, she's been following me since this morning. Lallie, why couldn't you have been born a boy? * : Hey, I'' don't talk smack on Dad's ''taftótita phylu. * : Not that, it's so I can call you my bother instead of my brother. * : Well, what are we waiting for? Pizza Pizza is five minutes to walk! * : What are you talking about; a lower division girl can't leave for lunch! * : I'll say I have connections. * : Ooh, sister, you won't pull a Dad! [They start chasing each other.] * : When did my life turn into a sitcom? * : I don't know, but that'll be my new catchphrase! * : Oh, Popsicley, don't pull a Dad. * : Baba, mimi wanahitaji msaada wako. ... Hakuna, siyo kuhusu masuala ya kijeshi! Ngoja, nadhani ni. * : Oh my gosh, guys, listen! * : It's Mum! * : Shh, I feel like eavesdropping … * : Mimi tu kupokea habari kwamba mwanangu watalazimika kuacha shule yake na kuhamishiwa shule ya kijeshi. * : Did you hear? She's going to send one of us to military school! * : What? You can read her lips? * : No, but unlike you, I can read Swahili. * : And now I feel bad. * : Hapana, ni si kubwa! Mimi nitakuwa kupoteza mtoto wangu! * : She said she's going to be losing her child. * : Which one? None of us here's bad enough to transfer, except … * : Uh, yeye ni bluu moja. * : She says it's the blue one, and that could only mean … *'All 3': Chavo. * : I knew he'd go somewhere someday, just not today. * : And serves him right too, after all the mean things he did to me. * : Where is he anyways? * : In the backyard, killing insects. * : Ndiyo. * : Let's just listen to what she's saying next. * : Tafadhali, umefanya gotta kunisaidia kupata naye nje ya hapa! Sitaki kupoteza mwanangu! * : It sounds like she's very worried! * : I wonder why … * : Mimi kuomba msamaha, baba, lakini ni lazima kwenda. Kwa heri! * : Ooh, you forgot to say bye again! * : Actually, I did. In Swahli! * : Mind. Blown. * : Hey, all! [A.R.I.] * : Oi, me dad ain' doin' 'elp about this situation. * : You mean he can't change it? * : What can't he change? * : We'll talk o' this later, righ' now please jus' eat. * : Woah, Zorah, you're actually eating vegetables! * : Yeah, you said the only green thing you want in you is envy! * : Th- this is unbearable! * : Well, now thet we're all 'ere … Salvador, wot're'ee doin' about an hour ago? * : Oh! I was in the backyard, killing bugs. Why? * : Oh, the horror! I mean, hot dog, that sounds awesome! May I join? * : 'Old it. Chavo, you're excused. * : Finally! [Exit Salvador.] * : So why did you call us here? * : Yeah, why did you? * : E'eryone, we're 'avin' a family meetin'. * : Yay, I'll go get the Tina Turner CDs. * : Now that's just cold. * : I mean … Bah. Who cares. Everything stinks like my servants once I rule the world. * : Our firs' subjec' … [She gets interrupted by Salvador's walking in. He has some red on him.] * : Wot'n'ale? Why're'ee back so early? * : It was just a little bug, but I went crazy! * : That's a BFDI reference! Saye, revel with me! * : No. * : Yeah, you can't be here when we talk about you! * : Well, ye can' be 'ere, it's a surprise. * : Heck, if there are no more bugs in the backyard, go to the neighbours' yards and kill the bugs there! * : I do love doing that! [Exit Salvador.] * : So why are we talking about Salvador? * : Is it because he's going to military school? * : Aye, it's … Wait. 'Ow d'ye knows o' thet? * : I overheard you talking with Grandpa on the phone, in Swahili. * : Damn'e. So, as ye all may now know, today we'd to go to school o'er Salvador. I talked ter 'Eadmistress Ball, an' there's nothin' she can do of'e 'til the courts on Friday, thet yer brother'll be tried. An' so, wot we all want'ee to do's convince thet evil 'ead-witch-tress thet wot she's doin' is wrong. * : Wait, so is that school better than Ibáñez? * : Well, Santa Maria Malkia wa Upendo School's equipped with the fines' of equimen' an' training skills an' it's been trainin' kids with discipline fer o'er 8 years, so basically th' opposite o' yer school. * : Let me get this straight … they're going to move Salvador from a "horrible" school like ours to one with better equipment and training and stuff? * : Aye, thet's wot it's, but y'shouldn' care about 'ow fancy an' nice things are, when I meself can't bear to lose one o' me children? Am I right? [Nobody is there.] * : An' now I'm alone. * : Honey? * : Yeah? * : Come here. * : Why? * : They forced Salvador to dropped out. Golf Ball made a mistake. Category:Episodes Category:New episode